


fraction of your happy heart

by Cloudy



Category: Magic Kaito
Genre: And Kaito is an idiot who pretends to be not at all invested until he's in so deep he's gone, Christsmas Fic, DCMK Secret Santa 2k18, Eventually established relationship, Gen, Holiday Themes, M/M, Pre-Slash, Saguru is an idiot who constantly self-isolates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-29
Updated: 2018-12-29
Packaged: 2019-09-30 01:14:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17214269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cloudy/pseuds/Cloudy
Summary: It’s not hard; with you I have an alibi. / You don’t care the reason why I misapply. / All I need’s a fraction of your happy heart. / All I need is you.A glimpse into the Christmases shared between Saguru and Kaito. Snapshots of their progressing relationship together.Chapter one:Saguru's Christmas plans (or lackthereof) become commandeered thanks to some unanticipated meddling.





	fraction of your happy heart

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Adwin (saguru-hakuba-detective)](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Adwin+%28saguru-hakuba-detective%29).



> This is a little late, but it's earlier than I thought it would be still! There's a lot I could say about this work, since I'm frustrated with it, but I'm just going to hope that you like it. This is a gift for Adwin / saguru-hakuba-detective on tumblr for the DCMK Secret Santa gift exchange. 
> 
> The goal was to give you something nice and tender to read, with some good sagukai stuff. And hopefully hit on some ideas I've been wanting to write for a while in the process! I hope my gift receiver and all others who stumble into this story are able to enjoy it. The title for this fic is pulled from the song Moscow by Autoheart, because it was my favorite song to listen to while I was writing this.  
>   
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> * * *
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> Here's a curated collection of some of the songs I listened to while writing this and drafting chapters two and three. Not all will necessarily fit but I arranged them in order of which sections each song reminds me most of. (So, earlier songs might apply more than previous songs, but all are good for Sagukai in general. [Click this link for the Spotify playlist.](https://open.spotify.com/user/1242822556/playlist/3avG7N0d5JGDlPAEv3Fpk3?si=YwV90JV2TkehCHGnc9AwJg) or [click this link for a view of the tracklist,](https://i.gyazo.com/f5704eeabe96cb0796fda5a3f3fd32d0.png) if you can't use Spotify but want to see the songs on it.

It’s a rainy day in mid-December when discussions of winter break really begin to seize class 2B in earnest. Conspiratorial discussions about outings with significant others, excitable chatting about New Years plans, everyone eagerly anticipating the break. 

So when Nakamori Aoko turns on Saguru and asks him what he’ll be getting up to in England for Christmas, he doesn’t have the heart to correct her and explain that he won’t be travelling home for the holiday at all. More than anything, he doesn’t want anybody looking at him sadly and he is loathe to explain why he’ll be staying in Japan without anyone to keep him company save for dinner with his father on the first day of the year.

So he spares a pleasant smile for her before looking back to his lunch, and answers without looking up. “Oh, well, it’s typically quite the affair back home. I won’t have even a moment to breathe with all the festivities, but it’ll be eventful for certain.”

She’s happy to ask what kinds of traditions they have over there, and he wishes she would drop the topic but can’t imagine actually telling her to, so he answers what he can while leaving out the complicated family dynamics and the distasteful bits.

The entire time, he feels a recognizable gaze boring into him, and he wonders why the owner of it isn’t quipping about how stereotypically British the whole affair sounds, or otherwise providing some sort of jab to sully or end the conversation. 

By the end of lunch Nakamori-kun is absolutely thrilled for Saguru and his made-up plans and he is feeling lonesome.  
  
  


Saguru does not consider himself to be a sentimental person, and certainly not a religious person, so Christmas as a holiday shouldn’t really matter to him.

For as clever as Saguru is, he is very good at being wrong about himself.

It isn’t that Saguru wouldn’t be welcome home for Christmas, and it isn’t that he can’t make time for it. It isn’t that he doesn’t want to see the home he’s been away from so long, and it isn’t that he wants to get accustomed to Japan’s brand of Winter break. But these are all reasons he’s fidgeted over as he tries and fails to feel better about his decision. Besides, at this point the plane tickets are getting more and more expensive by the day, and while his mother could afford to cover it, it is simply impractical to make such a request.

On the other hand, she might not fulfil the request even if he asked, considering how displeased she was when he told her he wouldn't be coming home.

The fact of it is, Saguru hopes to avoid some of the toxicity of home. Coming to Japan was as much for an attempt at mental stability as it was a step in his career. But now his mother is slighted and he is missing his cousin, and he is remembering how isolated he feels here when he isn’t working or too exhausted to think, and the closer the day gets, the worse he feels.

Probably, he’ll spend the holiday borrowing the liquor cabinet and watching Sherlock Holmes, because that is what he likes to use to distract himself.   
  
  


Break is only days away. End-of-term exams long past at this point, everyone is restless, not least of all Kuroba Kaito, who is already restless by definition and must be so bored of school by this point that he’s probably ready to explode and take everybody else down with him in a confetti-filled mushroom cloud.

Considering this, Saguru is not remotely surprised when he finds himself the target of many scheming looks from Kuroba and then, during break, the other boy invading his space by propping his elbows on Saguru’s own desk. 

“So, Hakuba, when’s your flight out?”   
  
Saguru leans back in his chair to get some breathing room; Kuroba is too close. “How is that any of your business, Kuroba-kun?” he asks, doing his best not to go on the defensive and failing. Despite Saguru’s composure, Kuroba knocks him off balance without even trying.

Kuroba gave him no purchase on the situation. “You don’t have to be so cagey. What? I can’t be curious? I’m just wondering when you’re flying out of the country since nobody’s gonna get to see you for the rest of the year.”

“You’re one to talk about cagey,” Saguru quips, and Kuroba snorts abrasively but his eyes sharpen on him. “If you must know, I’m flying out on the twenty-third,” he continues.”Now, kindly give me some space.”

Another annoying sort of sound from Kuroba, and then he’s withdrawing from the desk. 

 

* * *

 

Kaito is  _ on _ to Hakuba. He’s sure of it. He’s not sure why Hakuba is lying about going away for break, but he definitely made up the date he was flying out. Probably. Mostly he’s going on a gut feeling, but he’s sure it’s right.

That paranoid little part of him that is sure Hakuba’s only interest is exposing him as KID thinks that it might relate to same kind of scheme to land him in trouble, but the part of him that he likes to consider his reasonable self understand that might not be right.

But what reason would Hakuba have to lie about going to England for Christmas?

It isn’t an easy question to conjure an answer to. The simplest speculation would be that Hakuba has work that he doesn’t want to talk about over break. But what if that work  _ is _ related to his KID investigation? Or, worse, what if it’s related to something that could land the detective into real trouble, and nobody would be aware because everyone thinks he’s traveling for the holidays?

That possibility is stressing Kaito out way more than he’d like to admit. He needs to get to the bottom of this.

 

Lurking around property that belongs to a prominently wealthy family in Tokyo like a common criminal is probably unwise, but what else can he do when high school student Kuroba Kaito has no good way of accessing upcoming flight records or Hakuba’s email (and besides, he’s not going to be that much of a stalker over this, that would be way too extreme). This is honestly the best option. And besides, he’s not a common criminal and the comparison is insulting at best.

It’s the evening of the twenty-third, and if Hakuba really is flying out today, he’d be gone by now. His driver’s car isn’t around as far as Kaito can tell, so that does bode well for Hakuba telling the truth. But the lights on in the house do not. His dad isn’t here, and nobody else could be living in the house to the best of Kaito’s knowledge, so…

Kaito knows better than to go peering into Hakuba’s windows; that would surely attract attention from neighbors, bringing him from “questionably loitering” to “probably casing the place and definitely warranting being reported.” Really, why he’s investing so much time or effort into something as trivial as this is beyond him. He has things to do, like a January heist to plan and gifts for the Nakamoris to (still) figure out. Hakuba shouldn’t even make it onto the list of priorities. Kaito reminds himself that he’s only exerting this much effort because if Hakuba’s up to no good (or too much good, or whatever), it could directly impact him.

Having resolved not to go sneaking about and looking more suspicious than necessary, Kaito decides the best approach from here is the straightforward one: just ring the bell. Hakuba’s the detective, not him, so he’s not about to go snooping around and trying to do extra work like making convoluted deductions. He promises himself that he’ll just check, and Hakuba won’t answer, and he’ll just leave it at that and go home.

If any neighbors did notice him (unlikely) then it’s kind of funny, since it probably looks like he was really just nervous about approaching whoever lives at this house. Hah! Nervous about approaching Hakuba! Ridiculous.

He plants his feet on the doorstep and rings the bell, and somehow he’s still surprised when he hears approaching footsteps and the door opens. He has his best innocent face on and he’s ready to ask if his classmate Hakuba-san is home, but it’s no housekeeper that answered the door, but Hakuba himself.

“Hakuba--” Kaito starts, poker face turning his surprise into something more mischievous and smug. 

It’s a snapshot of a moment, and in it Kaito sees perhaps more than Hakuba might’ve intended. A withdrawn teenager in sweats and a sweater, clearly not anyone with plans to go anywhere or see anybody. His face goes from a simple, neutral expression to something tight and shocked in a subdued sort of way. A deer caught in headlights and trying to recover.

In the end, Hakuba only stares at him for a moment before closing the door (and Kaito hears the door lock).

So...Hakuba is  _ definitely  _ home and most certainly not in a position to be taking any flights. Kaito is really sure now that Hakuba isn’t going to England for break if he’s at home now. Not knowing exactly what else to do (Kaito is used to  _ heists _ , not weird, awkward exchanges with teenage detectives), he rings the bell twice in a row. Being annoying has never been the worst approach for him to take. 

When this yields no answer, Kaito resorts to studying the door as he considers his options. It’s as he makes it partway into a plan to personally lure Hakuba out of the house or find his way into it that he reminds himself that he...really shouldn’t be sinking this much energy into it and he really doesn’t care at all. 

He doesn’t, right?

Kaito pulls away from the door, shrugging his shoulders and reminding himself again that he does not, in fact, care at all, but he still withdraws his phone. Probably he should just not say a thing about it, but when has Kaito ever been good at minding his own business? He is definitely telling Aoko what he learned because it’ll be funny to inconvenience Hakuba. He definitely isn’t worried. He doesn’t have time to worry about detectives who are probably just fine. It’s just the holidays.

 

KAITO

[23-12-2014 18:52] _ So, Hakuba never flew out. Idk if he missed his flight or what but he’s definitely at home. _

AOKO

[23-12-2014 18:54] _ WHAT?????????? Are you making that up? How do you even know he’s home? _

KAITO

[23-12-2014 18:59] _ look i just saw him and there’s no way he’s flying out today. Idk what’s up it’s not like i asked him lol _

AOKO

[23-12-2014 19:00]  _ That doesn’t answer my QUESTION! I wonder if everythings ok? _

 

It’s out of his hands now, and he doesn’t text back; he’s never had great texting etiquette so it’s not like Aoko will be surprised. Now he just has to keep himself busy before he catches himself trying to solve the puzzle again.

 

* * *

 

Saguru knows now that what he experienced was a lapse in judgment. It is never wise to answer the door without checking the security first to see who’s there. In this case, sure, it isn’t a point of danger, but really, he chose now to let his guard down? 

He can’t begin to imagine why Kuroba bothered to drop by at all and couldn't figure out how to ask. He’s still embarrassed for the way he reacted, but it’s better than some of the other plausible reactions he could have had. But still, total avoidance? He was worried it would turn into grounds for Kuroba to work harder to find out why he even still home. Slamming the door in Kuroba’s face after looking so guilty surely could have left the other trying hard to get to the bottom of the situation. Were roles reversed, it’s probably what he would have done.

He is mostly relieved when Kuroba walks away, but part of him regrets shutting the other boy out. Part of him wishes he would have responded differently. Done a number of things differently. Just like part of him wishes he’d maybe just told the truth to Aoko in the first place. Why did he lie about going to the UK? This was such a mess.

And then like clockwork, his phone ringing out from where it lay on the coffee table. Damn it. Surely Kuroba of all people wouldn’t call him; he’d sooner break in than resort to direct confrontation, Saguru is fairly certain.

He could possibly be incorrect on parts of this conjecture, but he’s right about one thing: his phone shows him that it is not, in fact, Kuroba calling him, but Nakamori Aoko. He tries to persuade himself that this is a mere coincidence and lets the phone ring.

For all his confidence in himself when it comes to his work, why must he be so wary of other people’s concern or pity toward him when it comes to something as insignificant as holiday plans? Why did he only further isolate himself by claiming he was going overseas in the first place?

He keeps his distance from the phone and busies himself with a pot of tea, but he can’t resist taking a look at the screen once he’s settled back into his seat in the living room.

Among the notifications on the lock screen are one missed call, one voicemail, and three text messages. He decides to forego the voicemail altogether.

 

AOKO

[23-12-2014 19:09]  _ Hi Saguru-kun, I don’t know if Kaito did anything but it sounds like you haven’t left yet. _

[23-12-2014 19:09]  _ Maybe you missed your flight or something? _

[23-12-2014 19:10]  _ I’m just wondering if everything’s ok? _

 

Perfect. She’s worried--of course she’s worried. What is he supposed to do?

He decides to ignore it for now, he’ll think of an excuse later, and turns his phone off.

 

Of course guilt ate away at him the night before, ate right into his sleep and left him lying awake longer than he would have liked--but such a thing is not all that uncommon. There’s always something.

After drifting off for a bit and waking just as troubled, he gives up around six in the morning and settles into a spot at the kitchen counter, skimming over the news on his phone and trying not to think. Trying not to think about the fact that he lied to his friend, about Aoko’s calls and texts, about Kuroba on his doorstep, about the fact that this stupid tendency to isolate himself could really result in the loss of a friendship or the breaking of the possibility of one. 

To think Nakamori-kun would hate him over this is...melodramatic, yes, but it’s hard to fight off the melodrama when there’s nobody to give him a sanity check (when he’s no good at asking for help to right his perspective). 

The reverie consumes his morning--the reading of the news, the reviewing of paperwork of recent cases, it all comes second to this trivial thing. As he finally thinks that perhaps he should confront this feeling head-on, like fate, a knock on his door sends him checking the security camera.

Nakamori-kun stands outside.  
  
  


And so it comes to pass that Saguru finds himself steered into the Nakamori household’s entryway. She wouldn’t take no for an answer once she knew he would, in fact, be completely by himself for the next forty-eight hours and then some. 

On her way barreling into the house, she announces, “‘Tou-san, Hakuba-kun is staying over for Christmas!” 

“Is  _ that _ where you were?” comes an irritable, definitely-not-Keibu voice.

Of course Kuroba is here. God, of course he’s here. If Saguru didn’t already feel he was intruding here, there would certainly be no doubt in his mind now. 

“Well, where did you think I was, Bakaito?” Saguru hears as he’s slipping into house slippers. Nakamori-kun’s already out of sight, thundering into whatever room Kuroba is in. “Where’s ‘ _ Tou-san _ ?”

“He’s picking up some stuff from the convenience store. And probably chicken,” Kuroba replies off-handed. “When I got here he was on his way out the door with that list you made him.” Then, he jerks his chin toward the doorway Saguru finds himself standing in as he turns into the kitchen, where they’re talking. “I still don’t get why  _ he’s _ here,” he adds, with no regard for manners or pleasantries.

“Nakamori-kun,” Saguru begins, more polite and less familiar in his anxiety. “I’m sure it’s intrusive of me to be here. I don’t have to--”

“Oh, shut up. You’re already here.” Surprisingly, it’s Kuroba who protests, though not without the existing barbs from earlier. “Just pitch in and help, don’t sit there worrying about invading. Aoko invited you anyway, right?”

Saguru can’t quite read the look that Kuroba and Aoko exchange, and he gets little time to mull it over before he’s urged into the living area, where little decorations--handmade pieces and store-bought trinkets acquired over the years--are strewn about with no sort of organization. A fake tree perhaps a bit taller than Aoko sits in a corner of the room, awaiting decoration. It all strikes Saguru as unexpectedly Western. Isn’t Christmas more of a couples’ holiday here? He can’t help but struggle to reconcile this with what he’s learned and heard about Christmas in Japan (or with what he assumed of Kuroba’s and Aoko’s spending time together during the holiday).

He’s loathe to make himself a nuisance by fussing further about his desire not to intrude, so he agreeably makes himself useful and starts to help with decorating the tree.

The day is a flurry of activity from that point on, and he barely has a chance to really process it all. Kuroba stays busy in the kitchen while Saguru helps Aoko decorate, and finds himself enjoying the way they snipe back and forth and each other. It is not hard at all to join in, either. Keibu comes in in a flurry and sputters over Saguru’s presence, but doesn’t take nearly as much issue with it as he might have expected. 

Saguru learns many things this Christmas Eve. As it would turn out, the Kuroba and Nakamori family have a proclivity for a few more Western traditions due to Kaito’s parents’ overseas travel, as well as some things Aoko’s own parents picked up from more limited travels abroad during their university days. These classmates of his have celebrated holidays together throughout most of their lives (this fact does not ease his suspicion that he is invading on something sacred).

The day passes like a fever dream. They all eat fried chicken, drink sparkling cider (well, Keibu drank beer and honestly Saguru wished there were some polite way to partake), and play board and card games. Gifts were exchanged and Saguru was surprised to find that Aoko had found for him a deerstalker keychain, and although it was terribly small and cliche, he felt terrible for not having anything for her. He felt less bad when Kuroba handed him a present which turned out to be a rigged pack of cards which exploded upon opening the box. Nothing like balancing karma by being the subject of a prank.

The festivities don’t wind down for a good while, and by the time it’s late enough to start thinking about going to bed, Saguru is entirely too wound up to even think about attempting to rest. He had been invited to stay over, and this late into the evening he isn’t about to trouble anybody by insisting on going home, so he retires to the designated guest room around the same time Keibu staggers off to his own bedroom. There is only one guest room, leading Saguru to wonder if Kuroba is going to share Aoko’s room with her, which thus causes strange feelings of discomfort which he opts not to analyze.

Hours later, Saguru is predictably still awake, and can make no more sense of the day’s events than he could when he tried to settle down for bed before, and decides it best to try to ease his mind with something calming. He shuffles quietly out of the room, and finds dim light spilling into the hallway from one of the common rooms.

The possibility that someone is up when he had expected everyone to be in bed sets him needlessly on edge; feeling paranoid, he quietly makes his way toward the source, which turns out to be the kitchen. And at the counter, he discovers Kuroba, sitting alone and drinking something hot and steaming from a mug. From the smell, Saguru would guess hot chocolate.

Something about Kuroba tenses and coils upon realizing he’s not alone, but he does a good job of keeping that reaction to himself. If Saguru were any less astute, he wouldn’t have caught it.

“Can’t sleep either?” Saguru hears himself inquire before he can think of something better to say. He makes his way into the kitchen, studying the pantry door intently in favor of risking looking at Kuroba and getting caught doing it for too long.

“Sleep is overrated,” Kuroba says, providing a non-answer in true Kuroba fashion. “I thought you’d be asleep by now, though. You went to bed hours ago.”

Saguru shrugs, tentatively finds himself a mug. “I wanted to give you two time to spend together without any extra company.”

“What’s that about? We hang out all the time, that’s stupid.”

Saguru rolls his eyes. “Yes, well, sorry for granting you some privacy with your friend, then.”

They lapse into silence, Saguru helps himself to some of the cocoa Kuroba has prepared on the stove, preferring this to trying to raid the Nakamoris’ cupboards for tea. He leans against the countertop, not looking in the other boy’s direction.

Once Saguru is clearly settled, Kuroba surprises him by speaking up. “So, was this much like one of your Christmases at home?”

Christmases in the UK were...complicated. There had always been a lot to like and just as much to hate. But that’s not what Kuroba is asking about.

“We do a tree and the typical family gathering, if that’s what you mean,” Saguru volunteers. “Honestly, it surprised me that you and Aoko-kun celebrate such a Western-style version of the holiday. Though you’re following the typical couple’s holiday convention, at least.”

“‘Couple’s holiday,’ huh? You too?” Kuroba snorts derisively. “This isn’t a couple thing, this is a family thing. She’s basically my sister. Surprised you’re not astute enough to put that together, tantei-san.”

A surge of embarrassment accompanied by  _ something else _ , something he chooses not to analyze right now. “Well, even I can be wrong sometimes,” Saguru allows with a magnanimous air, deciding tonight is not a time to wield his words as sharply as he might normally. “Still, the tree, the decor, cooking and baking together. Nakamori-keibu actually being home from work.” Granted, Keibu’s job  _ is  _ KID, and KID issued holiday cards instead of a heist announcement this month. Even KID celebrates the holidays, Saguru would suppose (clearly, seeing as he’s sitting in the kitchen now with him).

Saguru feels a little less like an intruder, knowing he wasn’t  _ as  _ much of an extra as he could have been. An outsider still, but that is something he’s used to. 

“So,” Kuroba begins, feigning a nonchalant air well but not well enough to trick Saguru. He can tell by the curiosity in Kuroba’s eyes that he’s been wanting to ask this for a while. “Why  _ aren’t _ you in England? Something happened to your flight, or...?”

Sighing ruefully, he puts off answering the question to finish up his mug of cocoa. Saguru had known that question would come up eventually. “I wasn’t going to go this year,” he admits. “I guess I just didn’t want to say that I had no plans.” Didn’t want to elaborate on  _ why _ or face pity or have anyone worrying about him being lonely. His loneliness is no one’s business but his own.

“That’s stupid,” Kuroba replies plainly. “Who cares, anyway? It’s not like lots of people don’t have major holiday plans. You don’t have to lie about it.”

“Yes, well, I suppose it would have saved me from the last minute invite if I’d just spoken up sooner.” Maybe he would have even had the opportunity to get gifts together for his hosts, then. “The damage is done now, though. At least Aoko-kun didn’t seem mad.”

“Well, no, I think you  _ worried _ her more than angered her. Not that I see any reason to be worried.”

Saguru rolls his eyes, but he  still feels bad for causing trouble. Worrying Aoko is worse than angering her, as far as he’s concerned.

“Why didn’t you go home, anyway?” Kuroba wonders, rising from his seat. Saguru wonders why briefly then watches him fix himself more hot chocolate. He leans against the counter beside Saguru, within arm’s length distance. Something about having him this close puts him off; the whole day they had kept at a distance, and in general it seems Kuroba never lets him close enough to touch.  _ I’d rather not talk about it _ , is on the tip of his tongue but instead of dodging he hesitates. 

Saguru looks to the ceiling, feeling suddenly exposed now that he’s let the question sit. The longer it stretches, the more it seems like there’s a major reason behind his avoidance.

“I just wanted things to be quiet, this year.” When he stops, Kuroba stays silent. It surprises Saguru how much he wants to fill the silence, and he knows it’s intentional. Still, it works. “While I’d like to see my mum and a couple of other people, there’s a lot of strain on the relationships in that family. I don’t fit there, not very well.” He falters for a moment, then continues. “I didn’t think the homesickness would be so bad, but it is. I’m happy I came over here, but I think if I hadn’t I would’ve been more miserable than if I’d just gone.”

Kuroba doesn’t speak up right away. He looks, Saguru thinks, like he’d like to dig deeper, but he’s stopping himself. Instead, he reaches wordlessly for Saguru’s mug, and Saguru hands it off. When it’s put back in his hands, it’s warm with more cocoa and Kuroba’s fingers brush against his. It’s the barest of moments, and he knows he shouldn’t fixate on it too much, but that makes him warmer too.

“Back when I was really little, my family and Aoko’s family would do a gift exchange and spend some time together on Christmas. After Dad died, Mom wasn’t always around a whole lot. Or if she was, it didn’t really feel like she was here.” Kuroba shrugs. “But anyway, that first Christmas after Dad died, I almost didn’t come over, but Aoko dragged me over on Christmas Eve and they kept me busy over here all through to--what do you call it? Boxing Day, I guess. That’s been the tradition ever since, even when we have school during.” Kuroba frowns a bit, like he’s thinking back on everything he said. Saguru wonders how much of this openness is calculated or if it’s accidental. “That made the holiday that year a little less miserable for me. I guess I’m just glad that we’re making your holiday a little less bad too.”

Saguru drinks the cocoa that Kuroba handed him. He hadn’t planned on having more, but it’s easier to blame the steadily expanding comfort in his chest on that than to think about the fact Kuroba might be instilling it in him instead. “It’s a really different way to spend Christmas than I’m used to, but it’s been--I’ve had a great time so far,” Saguru admits honestly. “I feel like I’m intruding, but you’re all being very welcoming about the intrusion, so--I am grateful for that.”

Kuroba rolls his eyes, like the idea that Saguru feels bad at all is absurd to him. “Whatever. What do you do for Christmas usually? Back with your British family?”

Saguru tilts his head consideringly. “Well, there’s a family-owned manor house in Inverness that we typically go to. My mother’s responsible for managing the estate so she acts as host, and it sort of functions like an organized event.” The preparations of the festivities were always hectic, he remembers. Everything planned to perfection. “There’s a banquet and socalizing and a full bar, usually. Gifts are exchanged and there’s some obligatory holiday baking, but the whole time everyone’s quite concerned with keeping up appearances. Not everyone gets along very well, so there’s always some amount of drama to take place.” He may not always have been at the center of it, but he knows that he tended to earn more attention, being so different and quick to voice incendiary opinions. His mother and he had many arguments over the years about whether or not he should keep his ideas to himself when all he’s going to do is cause trouble.

He decides not to go into the details of all that too much though.

“Sounds exhausting,” Kuroba grumbles. Saguru feels validated, hearing Kuroba on his side.

“Mm. Taxing, certainly. My cousin is the one thing that makes it really bearable. I feel bad I won’t be there to commiserate. But--in the end, I think this decision of mine worked out better than I expected it to.” If only because he’s learned that he might have built a better friendship (or even two) than he anticipated. 

They lapse into silence again, comfortable to appreciate each others’ company and finish their drinks. When Saguru’s done with his, he starts to straighten up from the countertop so he can go to the sink. He reaches to take the now empty pot, and Kuroba catches his wrist.

Saguru freezes, and so does Kuroba, and it is, perhaps, possible that Kuroba didn’t mean to act so directly.

“Don’t feel like you intruded,” Kuroba manages, almost blusteringly. “Everyone had a lot of fun. I’m glad you--everyone’s really glad you came.” He releases Saguru, flustered. “You’re not so bad, when you’re trying to be a good guest, I mean. Maybe just don’t be such an idiot about things though and just speak up next time.”

Saguru almost forgets what he had been trying to do, then Kuroba busies himself with the pot before Saguru can get to it, rinsing it quietly in the sink. Saguru’s heart is racing. At some point Kuroba also managed to pluck his own mug from his hand, and is rinsing them both. 

When Saguru still hasn’t left by the time Kuroba is done, Kuroba rolls his eyes. “Look, I’m going to bed. You should too.” He tries to seem annoyed, but Saguru is too pleased right now to take it seriously.

“I will,” Saguru says, remarkably steadily. “I--thank you, Kuroba. Thank you. Merry Christmas.” He turns and walks back out of the kitchen; as he’s reaching the threshold, he hears Kuroba say, “Merry Christmas to you too, Hakuba.” He smiles to himself, and when he lays down in the guest bed, he’s light and warm throughout, and it’s a bit easier to finally drift off, even as the conversation with Kuroba swirls around in his head and mingles with the warmth in his chest.

**Author's Note:**

> This is part one of three, because in drafting this my imagination kind of ran away with me. Fortunately each chapter will also kind of function as a standalone. Each chapter will cover Christmas from a different year and follow Saguru and Kaito through their relationship. If you like this, please harass me to get the next chapter done asap, I Need Motivation. 
> 
> Also, not that it's important, but I made it the December of 2014 to reflect the birth year stated for Saguru in the newest anime adaptation (1997) putting him at age 17.


End file.
